Parenting from the Oilfield: Lessons from the Patch to the Ho

I grew up with a dad who worked in the oilfield. Every day, he called. Sometimes, it was just a quick check-in—"How was school?" or "Did you feed the dog?"—it didn't always matter, but it always mattered. It wasn’t about what he said but the fact that he said something. That simple act taught me a lesson I didn’t fully appreciate until I became a parent myself: being present doesn’t always mean being there.

Now, I work in the same industry, balancing long hours and unpredictable schedules while raising my own kids. The oilfield doesn’t wait for bedtime stories or school drop-offs, but that doesn’t mean you stop being a parent. You just learn to do it differently.

Do as Much as You Can, Whenever You Can

Some days, I come home wiped out. It would be easy to crash on the couch and check out, as parents, we have to make time. So, I do my best. Maybe it’s helping with bed time, making sure lunches are ready for tomorrow, or putting my arm around someone as we watch a bedtime show. Being a parent isn’t about grand gestures but showing up. Show up.

And sometimes, being a good dad means being the bad guy. Enforcing rules, ensuring chores get done, and setting expectations—all matters, even if it’s not always fun.

Your Reputation at Work Follows Your Home

One thing about working in the oilfield: your name carries weight. Whether you’re the guy who always shows up early or the unreliable one, word gets around. The same applies to being a dad. Your kids are watching, learning what hard work looks like and what integrity means. If they see you putting in the effort, keeping your word, and treating people with respect, they’ll take that with them—on and off the job site.

Conversely, if you drink too much, make reckless choices, or cut corners, that doesn’t just stay at work. Your family sees it, too. The oilfield has its own set of rules, but so does parenting. The reputation you build in one place will always bleed into the other.

Let Them See the Work, Let Them Hear the Stories

Whenever I get the chance, I bring my kids to work. I want them to see the rigs, the equipment, the people who make it all run. I want them to understand that this life—this career—isn’t just about a paycheck. It’s about responsibility, teamwork, and problem-solving.

Even when they can’t be there, I make a point to talk about work at the dinner table. Not just the technical parts but the problem-solving and the lessons learned. I want to get their wheels turning, to show them that there is something else out there.

Finding Balance in an Unbalanced Life

There’s no perfect way to balance oilfield work and parenting. Sometimes, work wins. Other times, family comes first. But every day, I try to make sure my kids know they’re important, that they matter just as much as the job.

Being a parent in this industry means making the most of your time, leading by example, and showing up in whatever way you can. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

And maybe, one day, my kids will look back—just like I do—and remember the calls, the lessons, and the way I tried.

Continue the Conversation

Being an oilfield parent comes with unique challenges, but you’re not alone in it. Here are some resources to keep you thinking about parenting, leadership, and communication in this industry:

🎙️ Listen to my podcast episode on communication in the oilfield – Learn how better communication can strengthen not just your work life but your family life, too.

📖 Check out my book, Crude Communication – A practical guide to improving collaboration and interpersonal skills in the oil and gas industry.

📝 Read another blog post: "Where Do I Fit? 5 Ways to Find Your Place in Oil and Gas" – For those trying to navigate their careers in this industry.

🔗 Industry resource: "Working 28 Days On with a Family?" – A discussion where oil and gas workers share their experiences balancing work and family life.

What are some of the ways you balance work and parenting? Let me know in the comments!

How do you balance parenting with the demands of working in the oil and gas industry?